


Spiders, Man

by Kajmere



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America (Movies) RPF
Genre: Captain America RPF - Freeform, Civil War Press Tour, Evanstan - Freeform, I feel ya, I hate spiders too Chris, Kissing, M/M, Mackie is a good bro, Panic Attacks, RPF, Spiders, re:Chris and Spiders, should be more kissing tbh, voluntary strip search
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6672520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajmere/pseuds/Kajmere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris hates Spiders, Sebastian is just finding this out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiders, Man

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, Its [giselleslash's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/giselleslash) fault. 
> 
> It started off innocently enough, me agreeing with the video of [Chris hating spiders](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtQknYF8pQ0) and it just sorta snowballed.
> 
>  **Me:** Chris was prob thinking the spider on Sebs knee was going to kill his bf. Seeing that in a whole new light.  
>  **Her:** Right? he was trying so hard to protect his bf from the evil spider but that damn sweet summer child wouldn't let him. hahaha.  
>  **Me:** He prob gave Seb a full once over after that event "OPEN YOUR MOUTH SEB I NEED TO EXAMINE YOUR MOUTH (with my tongue) "  
>  **Her:** Checking his pants thoroughly...it's so important to be vigilant.  
>  **Me:** And Mackie walks in and asked why Seb is basically naked and Chris just yells SPIDERS!!! and continues his exam like its nbd.  
>   
>  Then we both LOL'ed forever And she said fic needs to happen, and I said I can write crack. and so crack happened.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Also, unbeta'ed and all that, so just laugh with me  
> (and cry with me too if you feel like it, because I've written all of zero fic until now.)

So, here’s the thing that nobody who isn’t really close to Chris would know. It’s a dumb thing, except it’s not really a dumb thing at all, not to Chris.

This one time when he was a kid he was playing at the park and a boy, he can’t remember his name, had a spider on a stick and came over to show him. Chris thought it was so cool. He had stared at it got his face right up to the stick so he could see all the details of the creature, then the boy says to him, very matter-o-factly.

“My sister told me that that people swallow eight spiders in their sleep every year.”

Chris’ eyes darted up to the boys face, searching for any signs that he was joking, and the boy just stared back at him, shrugged, tossed the stick and asked him if he wanted to play grounders.

Chris never forgot that, despite his mom telling him it wasn’t true. He did not care. Spiders, from that day forward were off limits. One would not come within 5 feet of him without him knowing, let alone anywhere near his mouth, in his hair, or on his bed so they can wait for him to fall asleep and make a home for themselves in his mouth or crawl down his throat and into his stomach and lay little baby spider eggs. 

NOPE NOPE NOPE.  
_________________________________________________

This is the memory Chris’ brain conjures up when he catches sight of the thing out of the corner of his eye as he sits up there on the stage. He stares down at Sebastian’s knee, his heart rate quicken for just a moment and feels the need to bring it to the attention of everyone around them, so he points to Seb’s thigh.

“Sebastian is about to turn into Spiderman.” and he leans in for closer inspection “There is a little red spider on Sebastian’s leg.”

Sebastian looks down too “Oh Tom Holland! Once again,” and Sebastian point down at his leg, “it’s Ant-man.” And everyone laughs. The interviewer says something and Sebastian and Anthony say something else, but the only thing Chris is concerned about is swatting that thing, getting the thing as far away from him and them as possible. He thinks about the spider crawling up Sebastian’s shirt, he thinks about it biting him, and then his brain starts to screams at him.

HOLY SHIT, WE ARE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY , WHAT IF THIS EIGHT LEGGED MONSTER IS ONE OF THOSE DEADLY ONES, AND IT BITES SEB AND MAKES A BODY PART FALL OFF, OR WORSE, KILLS HIM AND I AM IS LEFT HERE IN A WORLD THAT IS SEBASTIAN STAN-LESS.

Oh God.

He is feigning a calm, cool and relaxed facade, when in actuality he is on a verge of a full blown panic attack in the middle of a world wide live broadcast of his own god damn movie.

This is so fucking stupid. Get your shit together Chris.

Sebastian doesn’t seem to care, and it’s his body this thing is on, or was on, he can’t see it anymore. Why should he care, if Seb doesn’t?

But he still stares, located it, then brings it to everyone's attention once again. Sebastian stares down at it too, like he already forgot about it. Then picks its up with his index and forefinger to inspect it closer, and Mackie laughs. The both have no fucking idea.

THEY COULD DIE.

_________________________________________________

The rest of the evening goes on, Chris is distracted enough with camera’s, the fans, Mackie and Sebastian being “The Seb and Mackie Show”, to almost forget about the whole spider thing ever happened.

Almost.

As the conference came to an end, and they are all headed backstage, Chris idly wondered what happened to that little fucking spawn of the devil spider. He stops mid stride and Sebastian collides into him from behind.

“Ow, what the…” Sebastian starts to say, and Chris grabs his arm and drags him down the hall.

“What’s got you in a rush there Cap?” Sebastian jokes as Chris suddenly stops and peers into a dark room, he lets go of Sebastian arm to scale the wall looking for the light switch. Locating it, he switches it to the on position and the room becomes illuminated. It appears to be a dressing room. Clothes all hung up on racks, vanities with mirrors encased with light bulbs, a couple couches, a couple of chairs.

This will do, Chris thinks, and grabs Sebastian by the forearm, ushering him into the room and closing the door and leaning heavily against it.

“Chris..What…”

“Open your mouth” Chris cuts him off. Sebastian hesitates for a moment, but he obliges and opens his mouth as Chris steps forward “Wider.” and Sebastian stretches his mouth as wide as he can. Chris looks tentatively inside. He cups Sebastian’s jaw and moves his head side to side his eyes not leaving Sebastian’s mouth.

“Lift your tongue.”

And Sebastian does. Chris peers in and repeats moving Sebastian’s head from side to side. Then he lets go.

“Chris what is going on?” Sebastian asks, and Chris stares at him for a moment longer, giving his face a once over, taking his left hand and running it through Sebastian’s hair and crashing his mouth into Sebastian’s, along with half his body weight.

Sebastian nearly falls over from the unexpected impact, but his right foot steps backwards just in time to brace them both from keeling over as Chris continues his assault. Sebastian’s arms wrap around his torso, and he clings to the back of Sebastian’s jacket with both fists and he sighs into his mouth. Sebastian opens up, an invitation to make the kiss deeper, and Chris takes the invitation gladly, his tongue darts out and across Seb’s lower lip, then his teeth, and soon enough it’s turned into something frantic.

After a few moments, Sebastian breaks the kiss and stares into Chris’ eyes, like he’s searching for answers. “Hey, you know I’m all for making out in random deserted dressing rooms Chris,” Sebastian says “but what has you all worked up?”

Chris steps back, runs his hands over his face and laughs.

“That spider, man. That fucking spider on your leg there during the panel. It freaked me the fuck out.”

“That little red thing? It was the size of a, I don’t even know, a spec of dust, how did you see it in the first place?” Seb inquires.

“I have Spidey senses. I know when a spider is anywhere near me, and it was on you and you were right there beside me, and I zeroed in on the fucking thing, and it was all I could think about.”

Sebastian just stares at him.

“I know It's crazy, I’m fucking crazy, but when I saw it on you, and you were all doting on it as if it was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, you know, sometime I do actually think you are a Disney princess.”

“I wasn’t _doting_ on the spider.”

Ignoring him, Chris continues,“I hate spiders. I want to karate chop any spider I see into oblivion, not mentally, I don’t think about _‘oh, it would be cool to karate chop that spider,’_ no I actually want to kung-fu the fuck out of any spider I see, and it took all my willpower not to do that on that stage. I could NOT unsee it. It was there on your knee making his home. it was all _‘hey, look cute foreigner I’m going to snuggle up to him and we will be friends and he will take me back to his motherland, and I will breed with a foreigner of my kin and live happily every after and feast on all the foreign bugs and lay babies in my new foreign human friends stomach.”_ And I just…”

Chris has to brace his hand on his knees to get air in his lungs. He realizes he is freaking out, actually this time, and Sebastian is there, a hand rubbing his back in a soothing motion.

“Chris, breath for me sweetheart…Breathe…”

And Chris does.

In…Breath hold…Out…Breath hold…In… breath hold…Out… breath hold...

He is finally able to stand back up, and Sebastian is looking at him with such endearment, like if he were a puppy, Seb would wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him and tell him everything will be ok.

But he doesn’t. He just stares and Chris feels like an idiot for letting his stupid irrational fear get the best of him. _Karate chop a spider,_ Chris, really?? Get your shit together.

“So,” Sebastian starts, ‘spiders, huh...”

“Spiders are the bane of my existence. I really don’t want to get into the how or the why, just know they all fucking suck...”

Seb just stares at him, knowing he’s not finished.

“…and I had no idea where that one ended up, is it in your hair? Is it up your shirt? You dropped it on the ground, but did it crawl back up your leg? Where DID IT GO?” his voice raises an octave, and Sebastian’s eyes widen a fraction, but he still says nothing.

“…When I came to that realization and I had no idea where that spider went, I stopped and grabbed your arm and dragged you in here. I was ready to strip you out of all your clothes and burn them, because the very thought of that thing on anywhere on you made me physically nauseated.” and he shivers a bit at the thought, still creeped out that that spider could be in the room with them at this very moment, planning its revenge.

“Take my clothes off.” Sebastian offers, like it was the most rational option to this ridiculous situation.

Its Chris’ turn to stare as he watched Sebastian open up his arms, like he is offering himself up. Chris lets go of a breath he didn’t think he was holding.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Sebastian answer.

So he steps back into Sebastian’s space, and runs his right hand down Seb’s neck towards the collar of his red jacket and underneath. He does the same with the left side next, and both of his hands are on Sebastian’s back under his jacket. He grabs a hold of fabric and pull downward. The jacket slips off Sebastian’s shoulders and down his arms with ease, falling to the floor behind them and Chris kicks it away.

The white shirt is next; Chris grabs the base of the shirt as Sebastian raises his arms above his head, an invitation to pull the shirt off. In one swift motion, the shirt is laying on the floor discarded with the jacket. Chris kicks the pile again, for good measure. Spider could be in there making its nest... Who knows.

Sebastian caught that little jab at the shirt and smirked, that little sideways half smile smirk and Chris couldn’t help himself. He leaned inwards to kiss him again. Sebastian sighs into the kiss, but pulled his body away. Chris felt the shift and pulled back, looking at him questioningly.

“My mouth has been cleared for duty, according to a few minutes ago, but the spider could still be around, I still have, uh pants and shoes on, don’t think you want any spidery surprises.” Seb explains his retreat.

“Good point.” Chris agrees and sinks down to on to his knees and lifts one of Sebs feet, to remove the shoe, then repeats with the other. He brings his arms back up wrapping them around Sebastian’s ass, lingering there for a moment and his thumbs breach the waistband band of Sebastians’s pants. He looks up and sees Seb looking back down at him, and he places the quickest of kisses on the protruding hip bone.

Sebastian has a full body spasm.

Worth it.

Chris brings his hands back around to the front, and unfastens Sebastian’s button, looking up as he does it, watching Seb watching him as he undoes the zipper. He repeats the same motion he does with the jacket and slips both his hands around Seb’s hips, underneath his pants and cupping his each ass cheek through the fabric of his briefs. The gentlest of squeeze that apparently sucks all the air out of Sebastian’s lungs.

Chris smiles and tugs the pants down from the waist and Sebastian steps out, one foot at a time. Chris throws the pants over with the rest of the discarded clothing and gives Sebastian’s lower half a once over with his hands. Sebastian’s hands find their way into Chris’s hair, and there is the gentlest of gentle tugs that goes straight to Chris’s cock.

Then there is movement somewhere unseen, and Anthony’s voice is heard through the door asking someone if they have seen…

And the door opens.

“Sea Bass and Chris…” he stops short and stares. Chris turns his head, hands still running up and down Sebastian’s naked thighs, Sebastian’s hands still in his hair, pulling slightly.

“Oh shit.” is the only thing that comes out of Mackie’s mouth “I didn’t…”

And Sebastian is laughing. Full on laughing his stupid perfect laugh and Chris turns his head and rests it on Sebastian’s hip and biting at the little piece of flesh above the waistband of his boxers, trying to stifle his own laughter.

He looks up at Sebastian, too embarrassed to look back at Anthony and he feels Seb shrug .

“Spiders, man.” Seb says in all seriousness.

“Fucking Tom Holland.” is all Mackie says in return. And he walks up behind Chris, who is still on his knees in front of Sebastian.

“Up top Homie.” and he lifts his hand and Seb high fives him.

“Fucking Tom Holland” Seb echoes.

Chris wants to die. Mackie will never let him live this down.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kajmere.tumblr.com/) / and or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kajmere)  
> I like new friends.


End file.
